you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
