apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
