u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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