it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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