What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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