so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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