Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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