If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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