literally had 100 drinks last night.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
