Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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