My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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