Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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