No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
