Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
whose parrot is this?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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