Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
vagina is talking i cant
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
