thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Randomize
