I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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