I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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