Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize