See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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