I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
honey bunches of taint.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
