I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
where are you?
Hypothermia
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
