i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
