She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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