ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
