i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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