She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
