well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
