I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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