People in love make me want to vomit
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
