just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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