she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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