i just made my gag reflex go away.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm gonna fight the coyote
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize