If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize