I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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