the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I just found a bag of teeth...
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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