so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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