I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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