i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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