so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
