Where did you get a picture of my penis
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
