no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
