Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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