I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Randomize
