I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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