This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
