shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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