hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
