Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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