i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
