I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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