stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize