she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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