how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
