Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
