we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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