my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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