what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
my god I love twenty year old dicks
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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