Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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